38 is all but over. In a little less than half an hour, the calendar will turn and I will walk on into being 39. This day of transition often leads to much contemplation. Some years the self assessments have landed far more critically than others. Today, though, I have found myself noticing with gratitude that even though my system is still incredibly uncomfortable when things are going well, I can see that the baseline has shifted, and that life has leveled out significantly.

Someone thanked me today for living into my call, even as they recognized how difficult it has been to do so. As I look toward the next year of life, I am just so incredibly thankful to have the affirmation that choosing health is making a difference... not only in me, but in my family, in my work, in my whole life... and beyond all of that into those lives to which I have been gifted access.

This past year has been one of really learning in which healthy systems I would continue to engage, and where it was time to quit trying to force myself into a space that is not (and probably never was) healthy or healing.

For the coming year, that's my goal. Intentionally, consistently, specifically, authentically showing up.

In this, the last year of my 30s, I will be more me than I have ever been. And I believe this will be the year when I start to find the people who are not just tolerant of that reality, but embrace me for all of who I am, largely because I have finally learned to do the same.

This mid-life period often seems to wreak havoc. I've seen it bring instability and insecurity to varying degrees in those I know. Somehow, for me, I both wish it would hurry up, and am working to not push forward too fast.

But... bring on the grey hair and 50s so that I can be who I have felt like I was since I was 10!

Monday is almost here. I'm off to celebrate aging with a good night's sleep. Thank you all for sticking with me.

I love you!