three purple hearts

I am so thankful to be finding more and more spaces where I am encountering other people living this out. Yesterday, I got to sit with someone from whom I couldn't imagine being more different. We talked at length about life and all we have learned from the living we have each done. Realistically, while there are ways in which we are dramatically different... there are many ways in which we are very much alike. And even though we may disagree on things big and small, because both of us approached our time with kindness and curiosity we left the table aware of our shared humanity and with common ground from which to move forward. It is absolutely possible to disagree with people and still be kind, to still respect them, to deeply desire the best for them, and to live love out loud. Stay curious, friends. Consider points of disagreement within yourself. Sit with those areas in which you are still learning to fully exist. Be kind to yourself. And then love beyond.

I sat in two places yesterday where there was discomfort in remaining. Both discomforts were stretching personally. One was somewhere that I desperately didn’t want to be, the other is somewhere that I want to want to be. The first space was somewhere that represents great harm in my life, the second is somewhere that seems to represent the reality that even great harms can heal. There are so many choices that have to be made on the journey that we are all traveling. At any given point of choosing, there is the opportunity to take a deep breath and lean into discomfort, or to run from it. Both are valid choices in varying situations. Either may be what is needed to continue making progress. No one but the person on the journey can determine what’s right when it comes down to it. When you have a choice… beyond the trauma responses, beyond the shame… when you really are in a place of awareness, health, and growth where a choice is possible… The power is in the breath. That moment can cha...

Oh, to have the chance to be so kind to the me that survived all the pain to get here… I’m so thankful that I have had, and still do have, the opportunity to change how I talk to myself. I hold little me gently these days, moving with compassion, firmly holding onto the truth that the love I show others is a direct reflection of the love I show myself. May you live into the healthy and healing love of which you have always been deserving today. Hand on your heart. Drop your tongue from the roof of your mouth. Lower your shoulders. Relax your eyebrows. Slow, deep breath. You’re safe here. Stay as long as you need. I love you.

Well, this hit deeper than I was prepared to experience on a random Tuesday morning. I suppose it makes sense that when trauma starts young, this reality also would. "I’m finally realizing that the only friends I’ve managed to keep long-term are the ones who’ve also experienced trauma--the ones who’ve lived through the pain of abuse, anxiety and depression, or profound loss." That resonates. And anymore... it's with the added caveat that those who choose to stay in that long-term meaningful relational space are people who are also choosing to do the hard work of healing from the deep pain and loss they have experienced. It's not without joy, neither is it all fun and games. It's life, and we are living it to the fullest. Facebook is not where these deep relationships are usually found or consistently lived out. They take intentionality, time, effort... Social media isn't the space for that. And the hardest thing about being an adult is figuring out where they ...