I didn't expect this week to be what it has been. Honestly, I'm not even sure how to describe it if you asked... but I feel like today should be Friday because I need a day to recover from the last three days.

Unfortunately, that's not reality. 

I woke up early this morning. The change in season and lingering darkness in the morning has made it increasingly difficult to rouse, and at 6 a.m., my brain thought it was still the middle of the night. I had a headache (that has still not let up as of the writing of this), and I was not looking forward to any of what was to come. After too many days of heaviness, I just wanted to wake up feeling rested.

 It was not to be. But today started anyway. 

Work... Life... Past... Future... It has all converged today. The clarity with which things are visible is striking, but it is a lot to hold.

It is now 5pm on this Wednesday at the end of September. And as quietly as the completion of my course of study for ordination snuck up on me a few weeks ago, tonight I rest differently, having just submitted the last paper for my final traditional class in my masters program. 

Tomorrow, I'll begin the capstone project to complete this part of my education. 

For tonight, I'm claiming the reality that life moves on. I'm learning and growing. Just as there were when I was younger, there are pains associated with that process. I survived them then, and I will do the same now. I'll breathe through them, cry through them, laugh through them, scream through them... 

Above all, though, I'll love through them. Through the growing pains, I'll love with hugs and with boundaries, each in their own time. It worked yesterday, it worked today, it will work tomorrow. 

Love will always work. 
And the holy calling to live it out loud is not a simple one... but it works.

Do at least one thing for you tonight. Show yourself that you are loved. Because you are.
I love you all, and I am absolutely exhausted. Both are true.