I’ve been wearing some rather bright shirts in the name of visibility this week. But today, I reverted to my more common mental health stuff and had on a plain one that just said HOPE IS DEFIANT on the back.

I’ve held onto hope for the CotN as much as I can, which for a long time now has simply been by the tips of fingers that are shaking with exhaustion. Coming to this gathering, I had very much expected to be further disheartened and to leave having finally been able to release it.

However… some statements made this week do put in perspective the events that are going on here… and they give me a much more solid hope that the movement of the church toward a living out of healthy, holy love instead of the muddied legalism that has lurked for so long (not always completely in the shadows) might actually possible someday.

Hope is defiant, but it is so much more than that. It is expectant… and I am expecting, in defiance of my time here, that the willingness to speak against the damaging consequences of the actions taken by people who are still too stuck in shame to even recognize it yet will make a difference.

Hope is defiant, but it is also protective. And I choose to sit tonight in the truth of the hope of heaven and the safety of the Church universal. While there are many in upheaval, I am focusing on the love and accountability of those with whom I am truly journeying. I am settled in the protective, expectant hope that God is at work even when we cannot see.

And I am thankful for leaders who are speaking out at personal risk and sometimes at great cost. As a young pastor who still isn’t quite to middle age… I am one who is watching.

Keep believing, friends. The air today was refreshingly cool.