I found myself contemplating life this week. Coming to a place where I’ve worked hard to speak truth and find myself, there was very much a sense that I had more to do when I arrived.

Having the opportunity to reflect on the doors that have opened and closed to get me here, this sculpture near Old Town Scottsdale gave me a practical place to sit in that reflection this morning.

I sat with the uncomfortable reality that I still don’t want to consider all of the doors. There were things I thought had been dealt with that were knocking at the door from the past and things I was terrified to admit knocking at the door to the future.

The doors to the past, present, and future all looked the same, which is a scary thought on its own. I had to trust that I was able to stand firmly in the present, acknowledge the past, and walk toward the future.

I had to be able to see with clarity how I am impacted by triggers and choose to encounter the painful things as an avenue of healing.

I had to lean into the balance and make a choice… because doors can become walls if they are never opened. And learning how and when to walk through them is an important part of the journey.

In choosing to move through them, I was greeted by the beauty within. There are things that I may have to push back out the doors, things that belong in the past or the future and are not to be dealt with today. But in learning to live in the balance, I am able to center myself in who I am, surrounded by the doors that look so tenuously placed, and look up.

The reflection of heaven awaits… and in that reflection is hope.

Hope that the balance of the past, present, and future will have meaning.

Hope that the blood, sweat, and tears poured into this life will have eternal meaning.

Hope that me, myself, and I will be strong enough to continue to stand in the center of the circle of life with the God of community who planted us there with them…

There is much more to come, friends.

And the doors aren’t as precarious as they seem.

Lean in, look up, and love yourself.

I love you!!!