I struggled with feeling like I was in the wrong place this morning. I woke up around 6am to a message from home that Ean was struggling. He was tired and had ended up in our bed with Sean because he was scared of having bad dreams. I felt like a failure. What kind of mom am I to be clear around the world while my youngest still needs me at home? I responded to him and prayed for him, and then went back to sleep. That was the best thing I could do from here. But I didn't like the feeling.

Shame winds its way into our lives in so many ways, doesn't it? Until we become conscious of its power and impact, I don't think that we are able to really recognize all of the different areas in which we are subjected to and subject others to the devastating division that comes from shame.

The more aware that I become of shame's effects, the more I am able to catch it as it is sneaking in and arrest its momentum. This is such an empowering process that enables me live a life that is much fuller than ever before. And not just full, but meaning-full. 

Today held a lot of God moments. Chapel this morning was incredible. Reading back through stories that I have known my whole life with the new lenses that I am gaining and then the context in which they were written feels like hearing all new stories. It is powerful to find all of the different examples of being set free for the sake of freedom into a new life.

Also exciting, today, was the dedication of the new keyboard that was brought yesterday. Thanks to those who donated to this need, we have been able to get it addressed in time to make an impact this week!

It was a joy to not only get to coordinate this effort, but to see the coming together of so many people from so many different areas of my life in support of it. You all are such a gift to me, and I am thankful for you.

Tonight, dinner held so much more than just food to feed my body. Being in this small community of people who are so earnestly seeking God, especially when it is difficult to do so is completely refreshing. The people here have become quite dear to my heart already, and I especially cherish my time with Roland and Cindy. I am honored to be able to sit and learn from these two and never feel as if I am less for not already knowing the answers to questions. 

Another nighttime will quickly turn to another morning. The speed of life is slower here, but the rhythms are the same. 

I love you, friends!
💜💜💜