*** I started writing this yesterday and didn’t get it finished and posted before the power went out. It was dark and still all night… the kind of stillness that only comes when the power is out. The last time I was in that kind of night was in the winter storms in Texas. There, I was terrified of what lay ahead. Struggling to stay warm. Pleading with God for safety. In Africa, even the power outage wasn’t that bad. It was strange, because I noticed that when I would stir, not even the dogs were barking. It was just quiet. Anyway, it is morning now. The power has returned. So, here is Saturday’s reflection. ***

Today was a completely different kind of day than I have had since being here. This morning, Cindy and I went to town to do some shopping. I was able to get some souvenirs that I hadn't gotten yet. And then we came home and had lunch, had quiet, rested, read... Just the two of us. All day. After dinner we sat and talked for awhile. 

It was nice and calm and felt very much like a retreat instead of whatever this trip has been.

I don't know how to describe the difference between this trip and any other that I have ever been on. Aside from the obviously different country. I've been on work and witness trips. I've been in churches for revivals. I've been to camps and college campuses. I don't think that any of those things prepared me for my time here. Somehow, this was all of those things at one time... with a fair dose of trauma work sprinkled on top.

Roland mentioned while he was here that it was a bit comical that God had to bring an Aussie and an American to Africa to meet. I am so thankful that he did, though. The journey out of shame and into holiness… into love, is a complex one. I knew this was what I needed to be working on, but it was so difficult to be sorting it out with no one I knew personally ahead of me. 

As I’ve told a number of people since being here, it is absolutely necessary to trust in the slow work of God. It’s easy to say… but so difficult to do. We live in a time of convenience. Even when things might be difficult, they are at least available. But as I have looked around Kenya (the parts I have been blessed to experience, at least, I have seen deep beauty in the slowness. And there is God.

The journey to wholeness… to holiness isn’t a quick one. I thank God for the moments of blinding clarity, and for his timely reminders of grace and progress. But those come and go… flashes of brilliance. And I am learning, just now, to find the beauty in the slow walk between them. To look for his faithfulness in the mundane. To trust his truth in the everyday process of sloughing off shame and choosing to steep life in love. 

Were it possible to freeze time on Friday, I would have. But there is so much life left to live… and love left to give. 

I love you, friends. 

💜💜💜